He was Hers

June 1 2022

And wasn't mine.

I thought momentarily that he was mine.

We shared something temporal.

The feeling were intense and real.

There was excitement and pure lust.

And I felt love.

He returned just the same.

Or i thought he did.

Then one day, the façade wear off.

His mask revealed.

All of a sudden , my world shattered into nothingness.

I never had a place in his heart.

I never stood a chance in his life.

A warrior myself , I fought for something I thought was right.

I chose to become numb.

I chose to be happy.

I chose to be selfish.

And embrace the what if's.

We made up. We tried and had our fun for a little while.

Then that dreadful day came.

Finally the playtime was over.

I was not successful this time.

And accepted my defeat.

I was fighter but she had a better chance in winning.

Now, is (was) the time to give away something wasn't mine to begin with.

I was just a borrower.

I had my time with him.

There's no going back now.

I never felt sorry.

I fell in love. 

Though it made me look foolish

There's no regrets.

Because what we had during those moments we fucked up

Were a real deal.

That is something I cannot give away.

I may lose the war but I won the battle.

Everyday I'm winning. Struggling hard as the day gets by.

To forget.  To accept. To let go.

Lesson learned the hard way.

At the end of the day.

It's still him.

Devine Infinitum

P.S To The woman who breaks my heart everyday.

Thank you for the pain. It teaches me to love myself more.

To be more kind to myself.

To be more patient with myself.

To be more forgiving.

Thank you.