Devine Infinitum

 My Spiritual Journey (I wrote this on my journal and saw it just now and give it a go to put this on my blog) January 18 2022 Over three months ago, I was totally devastated and brokenhearted. That has left me no choice but to move on life. It was one of the hardest decision I have ever made in my almost 31 years of earthly existence. By finally releasing the person who I thought could be my forever, whom I could spend a lifetime loving, caring, fighting, making up , making love and creating more memories and growing old together. However, this impending closure has long been overdue. Regardless of the difficulty I was facing I took the risk. The chance of letting that person go. Of getting hurt more. And the hardest is the acceptance that he will be no longer part of my life. Three months later... I do still think of him every single moment of time but surprisingly strange that the pain is now bearable to the extent of non-existence. He's been on and off of my life for about 16 y...

June 1 2022 And wasn't mine. I thought momentarily that he was mine. We shared something temporal. The feeling were intense and real. There was excitement and pure lust. And I felt love. He returned just the same. Or i thought he did. Then one day, the façade wear off. His mask revealed. All of a sudden , my world shattered into nothingness. I never had a place in his heart. I never stood a chance in his life. A warrior myself , I fought for something I thought was right. I chose to become numb. I chose to be happy. I chose to be selfish. And embrace the what if's. We made up. We tried and had our fun for a little while. Then that dreadful day came. Finally the playtime was over. I was not successful this time. And accepted my defeat. I was fighter but she had a better chance in winning. Now, is (was) the time to give away something wasn't mine to begin with. I was just a borrower. I had my time with him. There's no going back now. I never felt sorry. I fell in love.  T...

 31 May 2022 The moment we were born  and came out in this world.  We have given a face to wear all throughout our earth life.  A tangible face that is shown to the world. It evolves through time but at the end of the day still the same face. But how do we know our TRUE face if the world outside is just a stage. Every time we perform a specific role we wear a different face. This applies to every circumstances we're in, To every people we encounter, To every day that we live our lives. We are different. We are evolving.  We are far from our true IDENTITY. Thus, the question is. Who we really are? Who Am I? Is the person writing and thinking of this the same entity? That I still have to figure out. That's why our life on earth is a journey. It's long sometimes cut short. Predictable yet unpredictable. Life a dilemma itself. Life is consists of polarities. Life and death. Sun and moon. Light and dark. Pain and Joy. Success and failures. Beginning and the end. Some...

  The very first breath  I took, each morning I woke up is the very last breath I had in the "other". Two different worlds.. yet all the same 'You's The same essence of yourself in totally diferrent setting. The waking reality.. the world we all know when we are awake but aren't we? Awake? Else, this Other world where we close our eyes and drift to the unknown.  Well.. no one does know. But I rest my case.. Whenever or wherever my awareness sets in "I AM'' there. Fully awake. -Devine Infinitum-

 March 29, 2005 16 years 6 months 13 Days.. ago October 12, 2021 Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess and she met  her handsome prince charming and they lived happily ever after. Wait what. The cliche of fairy tales. Let me run down some details about them. Well, truly there is a princess yeah pretty too.  And meeting the prince they fell in love. Have two kids. There were happy moments and there's sad too. They lived and grew apart in years and lived again. Lol That's the arrangement. Until.. 16 years later ,6 months and 13 days,.exactly today .. they fell apart.  Parted ways. It wasn't the ending she expected. Yet an inevitable one. Her world shattered. Tough days. She was at her worst. His wasn't. Everyday since, she was struggling.. The days were long and  the nights were haunted. Her entire world crushed when she decided to end things with the prince. Because at one time in our lives. Letting go doesn't mean love isn't there anymore. Doesn...

A ghost is a thing or a person with unresolved issue or trauma  that has been kept hidden or forgotten for God knows how long. And now it's haunting you down. Wherever you are in this world. All hell let loose. But this .. is all on you. Even death could not escape this. It sound creepy and scary. Like the movie scream. It will yell (kill) at you until U awake that death is not the end of it. But we have our stories. The Bitter sweet ones. Stories to define us for the rest of our lives. Stories we told. And there are those stories we hid from the world. No matter the secrecy or the transparency of the matter. It is bound to unearth in a very timeless manner, in this physical world. That is EARTH. So, u got any ghost of the past? Well me on the other hand, got plenty in this lifetime. I don't know yet the life before this. I'm scared to face them at once. The moment I unleashed them it will be the death of me. Like , not the literal dying. But the ceasing to exist the old re...

Oh' Life It's only a four - letter word yet and yet The hardest word to define .. Life here on earth it's a lot to take in, How are you doing right at this moment Defines what kind of life you are living in. How are you on the out.. Reflects your entire world inside you. Or the other way around. Life is itself is a mystery or a misery. Everyday is a gift that caught us in awe surprise. It is an adventure of a lifetime or your doom. At the end of the day It all goes down to you. Because how you lived your life, Is all your doing WE co-create things. We are the creator of our lives. We are destined to do greater things. We live not only once but a million lives ahead or before us. But we solely exist in this very moment at this significant time in this physical body.. for a reason. And that reason is YOU. You - to make a difference. -Chekay-